a night out for the movie dark knight....
it was an overly draggy movie which can end lots faster....
got a shock stepping out from the lift and bump into him unexpectedly...

yea though miri is a very small town with the least entertainment but still....
izzit fate or izzit pure coins or is juz arrangements~
the rather awk scene is up...
knowing each other so well yet as if we never met....
being all flirty around yet with well ignorance...

spare me for walking away as i'm no saint...
i don give and take so fast nor swing my mood to the extreme...
i don go crushing ppl till they r flat den blow them up till they burst...
i don play mind games nor i'll flip a coin...

i'm jus me who has all kinds of emotions human have...
i would be jealous, would be happy, would be angry, would be sad, would even be naughty...
i will try my best to deal with all kinds that i have but it would be helpful if others don manipulate them for me~~~
i would like it to come and go naturally but not being force into my adrenalin~!!

depression lives in me or i live in depression??
hahaha....
a whole day meeting with the only three boxes in my house,
the old nasty feelings strucked me...
i fought till the very last second of the night until i finally juz drop down and gave up...
those stupid tears would juz keep rolling rolling down my cheeks for the chances of gasping a breath of fresh air....

i hate to see u coming back into my soul....
hate to kno that u never left my body...
u r so ugly~~~~
go away!!!!

hahaa... had this long chat about love over a night out yesterday with frenz....
human are confusing...

but hey ppl...... why let all these grey ruin wut is the the biggest asset of LOVE???
IF LOVE IS A GAME, MAYBE IT'S A LOUSY GAME CZ THE RULES ARE NEVER CLEAR..
but love is a game that let u make the rules... that let u discover how it is played...
that is the whole point of it.... it might be scary, might be pain, but there is always equal sweetness, hapiness, lovingness and all the sweet indulgence that comes along....
dont drop out that~~~~

although well it is kinda the fact that love=pain, but still, love is RED, never GREY....

i cant imagine wut would my life be after u have been gone....
to be going through my life alone...
how sad would that be???
i wish tat ur stay is not three months but forever...
i wish to tell u that but i cant...
i cant be so selfish to hold u back....
i cant stop u from hunting ur future...
but i want u to stay...
i need you to stay.....
u kno u r the bestest i have ever had....

how i wish the time could stop at this age and never ticks again.......
J, u kno i love you...


xoxo

Labels: for my lil hunnie bunnie........

" if u fail, den u wont have to study anymore!"

wow... wut a nice compliment... thanks...
i've been working so hard to live up to ur expectation...
i still struggle to strive for the best when ppl are juz trying to pass in order to aim for the scholarship...
for all these years, tat is what i'm doing... i might not be the greatest but at least not tat bad..
other than dealing with all these stresses i gave myself,
i have to deal with my personal emotions, getting myself out of my depression in the same time...
all u've seen is tat i am being playful all the time!!!

but the fact is i have worked even with sleepless nights to maintain my grades...
this is in fact my first and only time i hav the feeling of failing this subject...
but i tried, i juz don kno why the hell my brain and my hand arent working together and leading to this stupid careless mistake tat brought me to this border line...

yes i have been partying a lot in this holz but is juz cz i felt really stress out for my entire sem...
is NOT that i didnt work hard enough!!!!
thanks a lot for tat wonderful heart stabbing compliment!!!!

sorry but i needa do this....
EXXXCCCUUSSSSEEEE ME B*TCH!!!!!!!!
the scenery is overwhelming SO u actually don hav to lay ur eyes on us!!!
shoot off with ur sceptical, horrible, ugly, b*tchy LOOK!!!!

don mean to offense since u r the sis, but HEY!!!!
if u cant take others are a bit attention grabbing or maybe slightly ahead of u,
DONT LOOK!!!!

is so mean and no manners to give ppl tat f*cking disgusting look~~~
juz a lil respect for the fact tat is ur sis's fren!!!! THANK YOU~~~
will totally appreciate tat next time!!!!!!!

tell me i'm cruel, tell me i'm cold blooded, tell me my heart is ugly....

i''m just another normal gal....
i can stand up strong to the results i want,
but i still deserve to have time of breaking down....
i'm not tat perfect...
PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my love,
i cant see how this will work... not a single day i wont think about this...
despite the road further, the simple things i wanted for all these years cant be reached still...
although a lot of adjustment have been made, problems still remained....
i am scared to walk further down, not wanting to fall off the cliff that is unable to survive anymore....
take me as being very very selfish...
maybe this is the best now....


xoxo,
lost girl

it happened in one day....
when the same routine for the month happened again....
normally, it would be him that raised this thought of giving up, had enough, letting go...

but something changed tis time, she got tired... raised the thought........
wow... where does this adrenaline came from???
a girl who juz stood up from a big fall, who would cry the hell out over everything,
juz dropped few drops tears, wipe them dry, hit the words, and sent over....

everytime when she said she is really tired bout all those conflict, she meant it...
each and every little left over pieces of anger brought along from each conflict has grew HUGE!!
it's time for a break!! for a change!!

and so, here it came another guy... so happened when all this happen....
who used to be a crush of the gal....assumptions starts... judgement starts....
please... lead back to why all this happens....

when he ask her why is she having tis new guy fren???
isnt tat the same question when she has a contact with her ex(s)....
cant she have a guy fren who may had a relation before???
the reason for that relation to happen is because there is a connection at 1st...
why cant they be juz simple as frens???

define pushing... pushing is giving pressure to the person to give a valid reason to an unreasonable question... pushing is when the person being ask has said STOP but the person who ask never want to stop... pushing is when the person is feeling so pressured by the same thing....

when he choose to ask those doubtful questions, anger flame in her... remember to get back to the basic where all those things happened....
for things all started with all these doubt and is still not stopping....

last for now, never compare her tragic with wut he is dealing now...
for wut she had once experienced is far away from wut he can imagine...
but, from her tragic experience, don ask questions tat hurt urself....wannna kno questions like wut?? haha.. ask in person