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Aug 24, 2008

as i once said, the damages have been done~~
there is nothing can be done~
but when the emotions are here, is still hard to cope with that....

i never put it on the radio doesnt mean u can have ur wild guess of me having a perfect life...
i never shown slight emotion to u all because u have no idea at all of what is going on...
to me, is my problem that i wont need to contaiminate our relationships with these grieve...
but how can u jus making assumptions of urs on me tat easily??
what makes u think that just with a few sentences or even few hours of stories u can judge me??

again... damages are already there....
i am thankful for those who are with me all the time and be my backbone when i collapse~~
to be my calcium i need to strengthen my bones and stand up once again~~~
thanks for those who would suddenly tot of me...

if the question to me is am i okay?
i would tell u guys that i am a lot of things, people...
i am tired, i am frustated, i am sad, i am happy;
i am a million different things everyday of the week,
and i suppose OK is one of them...

thanks for being with there for me, physically or mentally...
i do feel ur presence, ur care, ur love.....
*huggies* i love u guys so much...!!!
i am here because i have u guys with me all da time~~~~

The lil lady was here at 9:06 PM



Aug 17, 2008

learn to be take responsibility on every single word u ever said,
one day heaven one day hell make all the words worthless....
what to believe, what not to believe...

think before u act,
pay respect to others...
sabotaging a person u said u love,
simply put ur words into the trash bin...

bring out the maturity in u,
stop being an attention seeker,
those drama INFURIATE me!!!!

The lil lady was here at 1:43 PM



Aug 9, 2008

i walk out,
the scent is there...
i wish to go,
but i stayed...
a bar in between,
yet i got the scent...
i struggled,
and ignored...
we reached,
another scent strike me...
it pull me down,
i hide to spill it out...
den i sat,
the scent is here again...
i hold back those coming,
i managed it...
after meal,
the scent is here...
i hit my pain sensor,
to immune my smell sensor...
i pinch and twist,
to stop it trembelling...

it's a long day...
to have the scent of pain...

The lil lady was here at 4:58 PM



Aug 8, 2008

i know i just said that i should not be moaning bout it but f*ck!!!!!!!
it is fucking pain right after the local anesthetic is gone!!!!!!!!!
HELP ME~~~~~
i want it to go away so badly!~~~~
hey doctor, u never said it's going to be this pain~~!!!!!
it is hundred times worse than getting a piercing~!!!!!!
it has same symptom but a million times stronger...
the ear feels hot but this is super hot!~~~~
the strong pulsive pain is there but this is thrillion times more pain~~~~~~~~~~~~~
aw~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ouc~~~~~~~~~~~~~ouch~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SAVE ME PLS~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The lil lady was here at 1:07 PM




the dependant girl is on her way in filling up herself with the "I" and the "N"..
did some unusual things today...
pump fuel for the car..(simple but seldom been done)
drove to the clinic and took the injection..(simple too but odd without companion)
not calling anyone to nag about the pain...(very unusual)
maggie for lunch...(big improvement)

haaha... sounds silly but is struggling all the way through it it it...

The lil lady was here at 12:05 PM



Aug 5, 2008

i can see it striking me...
i can see me slipping out of my soul...
i can see darkness filling up myself...
i can see me going off easily with no one pulling me back...
i can see me going beyond what the real me would do...
i can see my temper going huge...
i can see tat depression waiting for me there...
i can see me losing myself once again...

The lil lady was here at 11:12 PM



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