signing back in blogger is the hardest thing i've ever done in quite a long period of time...

Since i am now inmobilize, i think maybe this is one way out as well...

i've been living in self denial, sud say am still in.... trying to find excuses for myself, trying to twist all that people have told me, all that i've been feeling...

my fren once told me to walk away gracefully... hahah... so much of the gracefulness, i got myself a huge scar on my face... Maybe then this will give me a reason that i no longer qualify to continue this dream of mine...

i've been shutting down all my feelings, living a life of a dead corpse... i don let any emotion gets to me, because i cant break down again.... standing up from there is just too much....then, maybe shutting down too much leads to what happened to me now.. haha...

To those who has been trying so hard, trust me... am a poison you do not want to be in touch with.

i tried that ph all the time.... everytime i need someone so badly, i would ring that ph... it never failed to be the unanswered ph... i let the tone drown me each time... clearly it hadnt done enough drowning, am still struggling half way...

i dunno when can i be dead, completely, or will i ever be reborn again?
maybe when another story comes, that is too good to be true, tat's when u'll see me again...