from tat day onwards,
everyday,
i find a way to torture myself a bit...
imagining...
thinking...
wondering...
looking...
seeing...
i kno i sud let it go...
but ppl who knows me know it's hard...

i feel so sorry for hv happened...
i feel idiot for once feeling sad for ur life...
i feel dumb for ever open my heart and try to be ur fren...
i feel even silly for not knowing wut is beside me is a poison...

u sud hav nvr be so proud to expose ur wall of pride...
u sud hav nvr spoken a word so i can live like a fool...
u sud hav nvr let it out when i am in my most fragile moment...

but hey...
surprisingly... am doing better this time...
my tab is getting tighter hours by hours...
from big blast to small leakage to small drops...
maybe someday it actually will stop forever...
but then, is tat a nice thing to happen?

i dunno....